Cue the tomato throwing because I always assumed that pregnant women during the first trimester were exaggerating their symptoms. Oh sure, I believed those women who were diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum were going through hell BUT I assumed that was such a small percentage that the rest of the women were just babies.
When you find out your pregnant, there’s a TON of emotions. You never know how you’re going to react but I can bet you probably won’t respond the same way your spouse does.
It was hard for me to forget that I was pregnant. On the day of my missed period I was nauseous WITHOUT a migraine which is usually my first day period symptom so I knew something was weird. Since the day of my missed period I’ve only gone an entire 24 hours without nausea on 3 separate occasions. When I finally announced my pregnancy on the blog, I mentioned exhaustion but this was something I did NOT expect.
From that first day of my positive pregnancy test it did affect our marriage. For starters, my husband had to take over EVERYTHING household-related. If it involved brain power or me physically standing up, it wasn’t going to happen because my energy was being taken. The nausea and my super smell prevented me from washing dishes or cleaning our bathroom.
How The 1st Trimester Affected Our Marriage
- Zero date nights because I went to bed by 7:30, so after work, eating dinner and showering it definitely didn’t leave ANY time to be together except for those few minutes in bed in the morning. Also, leaving the house meant I would be nauseous because of the smells and movement so leaving the house unless it was for work never happened.
- My husband was at a loss to cook for me because I only ate things that I specifically felt like I could eat that day. My poor husband was grocery shopping daily because one day I could eat pineapple and the next I’d throw it up and never want to see it again.
- I felt SO guilty leaving everything to The Mister but I was in pure survival mode and sometimes he would get frustrated because he couldn’t tell how crappy I felt.
- We both were frustrated because our needs were not getting met. I was cranky because I couldn’t even muster 15 minutes to spend with my husband because this tiny leech was taking all my energy and The Mister was frustrated because he wasn’t getting date nights or any real-time with me.
We struggled until recently by having small disagreements but I never had the energy to address it, if I was being honest with you. At the 13th week mark, my nausea and morning sickness turned to motion sickness so that allows for relatively easier time to be with my husband. It allowed us to talk openly about our feelings(his of neglect, mine feeling like he wasn’t putting himself in my shoes). I also have about 15% more energy so I’m at least able to make it to 8:30pm most nights before I need bed which at least allows us to have many date nights at home. After talking it out, we realized there was just SO many emotions that we were both processing individually instead of trying to work them out together, which was causing discourse. We’re now back on the same page, and feeling more positive about the rest of my pregnancy. I’m so thankful for The Mister because this past 16 weeks has been tough!
So tell me, did you struggle with the first trimester? Did it affect your marriage?