I’m confessing a lot of things on this blog lately, so here I go again: until a few years ago, I never understood why pre-marital counselling could be beneficial. Of course, I assumed that 99% of pre-marital counselling was being done by a celibate man, so you can see why I may not have seen how beneficial pre-marital counselling could be to a relationship. The extent of our pre-marital counselling from our officiant was being asked about how we met, how long we’ve been together and a little bit about our relationship. In the end, the “counselling” if you can call it that was more of a chat between friends instead of a counsellor/counselled relationship. Now that we’ve been married two years I can see how beneficial pre-marital counselling can be.
Here are my top 3 reasons you should do pre-marital counselling:
1. Third Party Wisdom
Oftentimes, it’s nice to talk to someone who has no judgement but also doesn’t have a horse in the race, so to speak. A great marriage counsellor that has been married can provide you with experience that can only come from being married and living with another person.
2. Stop and listen to each other.
Counselling has the benefit of not being able to interrupt each other, learning to effectively listen and then respond instead of just responding in the heat of the moment without actively listening.
3. Learn about each other.
One of the keys to staying happily married is to never stop learning about each other, counselling gives you the chance to ask questions and listen to their answers that might not come up in every day life.
4. Quashing fears about marriage.
Not everyone has wonderful marriage role models, if you come from a divorced home you may have fears about marriage. Pre-marital counseling can help give you piece of mind that marriages can and do work, they just take work.
5. Learning to set realistic expectations.
Unrealistic or unmet expectations are at the root of most disagreements, learning what’s realistic to expect from someone who’s a bit “ahead” of you in the relationship department is a great way to set realistic expectations throughout your relationship.
Pre-marital counselling will help equip you with the tools you need to build trust for one another and the techniques to support one another throughout all the stages of your marriage.
So tell me, did you do pre-marital counselling? What did it cover? If you didn’t do pre-marital counselling, do you regret it?
Meet Your #LoveBlog Hosts!
Brita from Belle Brita
Brita Long is the pink and sparkly personality behind the Christian feminist lifestyle blog, Belle Brita. While her first
love will always be Paris, she lives happily with her husband Daniel Fleck in the Atlanta area.
Elyse from Just Murrayed
Elyse blogs about marriage, Vancouver-living, books and everything in between. She’s a legal assistant by day and an avid reader and blogaholic by night. She’s obsessed with Mexican food, the Toronto Blue Jays and true crime shows.
Sara from Mrs. Imperfect
Sara blogs at Mrs. Imperfect about letting go of perfect and embracing your quirks and messes. She writes about marriage, self love, and mental health. She is a writer, book lover, traveler and crafter, with an interest in the arts, history, and psychology.
Ivanna from Provocative Joy
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