Marriage

How We Keep Our Marriage Strong

how-we-keep-our-marriage-strong-just-murrayed

Life is busy. That’s a fact. But, it’s not an excuse to be lazy in your marriage. We’ve been married for 2 years and we’ve experienced already MANY different seasons of joy, sadness and everything in between. Right now, we’re in a period of joy but also uncertainty. We’ve made the big move which is awesome, but now we’re planning on what’s next, even though we literally have no idea what’s going to be next. Of course, we’re dreaming and hoping but dreams and hopes don’t always pan out. That’s reality, so there’s uncertainty, which can put strain on a marriage but we’re committed to keeping our marriage strong.

In my A-Z of a Happy Marriage posts, I mention 26 different things to keep your marriage strong but honestly? It can really be summed up in about 5 things to keep your marriage strong no matter what comes.

Here are some ways that we’ve kept our marriage strong through 15 years together:

Incorporate our love languages into every day life.
Knowing and using our love languages has been HUGE for our relationship. It actually feels easy to love someone because we know this little “secret” about each other. For him, nothing beats cuddling on the couch watching a movie because his main love languages are Physical Touch and Quality Time. For me, it’s sweet love notes, “I love you” texts and handmade cards that make me swoon. It’s easy to make us feel loved because we know this. If you don’t know your love language, go here. It’ll make a world of difference.

Encourage each other.
This is literally my favourite part about being married. I love being able to cheer The Mister on in whatever he endeavours to do. It doesn’t take much, it’s just a few sincere words and it can make a world of difference.

Sharing our feelings.
This can be a scary thing if you haven’t been in a serious relationship, but I think this is vital to keep a marriage strong. Sharing your feelings, your thoughts, negativity and positivity can make a whole world of difference in how you connect with each other.

Date Nights.
I will literally shout this from the rooftops. You MUST take time out from everything to focus on each other. If you neglect it, you shouldn’t be surprised that your marriage is suffering.

Continue to learn about each other’s quirks and needs.
Quirks and needs are always changing, it’s important to be connected to each other so that you can notice your spouse’s needs change over a lifetime.

Laugh together.
They say “laughter is the best medicine” and for marriages it’s so vital! Even when things aren’t going well, it’s necessary to be able to laugh. It won’t cure all your problems, but it will make you feel like you can make it through them together. Trust me on this one.

If it seems impossible to keep your marriage strong through seasons of life, don’t fear! It’s really simple. Keeping your marriage a priority and doing a few simple things is the key to MANY years of marital bliss.

So tell me, if you’re married, what are some ways you and your spouse keep your marriage strong in every season? What tips to do you have? What small things make a world of difference for you and your spouse?

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26 thoughts on “How We Keep Our Marriage Strong

  1. I love this post, and these are great tips. I recently read the 5 Love Languages book, and while I couldn’t get my husband to read the whole thing (yet), he took the quiz so now we know each other’s love languages. I’m really trying to remember his, and vice versa, and it’s really making a big difference!

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    1. I didn’t get my husband to read the whole thing either. I gave him the coles notes version. When we started using our knowledge of each other’s love language every day we saw a huge improvement in our happiness with each other. Good luck!

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  2. I love this! I’m fascinated by any and all personality tests and love language quizzes, etc. I receive love in ALL the five love languages pretty much. Some of my favorite times are when Pai and I are snuggled on the couch just talking to each other without the TV and phone. Quality time is SO important for a healthy relationship!

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    1. It’s true most people can receive love in all of the languages, I just think that you can feel it a bit more with your primary love language. You’re so right about the quality time as well – that is one thing that’s good for a marriage regardless of your primary love language.

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  3. K and I have both taken the quiz and our top three are similar, just in different order: quality time (my #1), acts of service (his #1), and words of affirmation. Honestly, though, that makes physical touch fall by the wayside sometimes which gets frustrating. It’s really all about balance.
    I think that laughing together is a big one. I also trust K with everything and we’re very open in communication. It’s important to know what’s going on with your spouse and what they need from you.

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    1. That’s really interesting that your love languages are similar, Audrey. It would make the others fall by the wayside but I think knowing that at least is half the battle. It’s awesome that you have open communication! I do think it’s pretty vital and really, who else are you going to tell if you can’t tell your spouse?

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  4. communication is KEY. some don’t know how to argue; meaning, they usually don’t tell the other how they’re truly feeling. when we have disagreements, we let it all hang out – the good, bad and ugly. it’s the ONLY way to get everything off your chest, come to a resolution and squash it.

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    1. I’m glad we aren’t the only ones to just let it all get out in our disagreements. I think that’s why we don’t do it very often. Thanks for commenting, Kathy!

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  5. I have only been married just over a month, but I try so hard to remind R that we must not stop learning from or about eachother. There is still so much I feel like I don’t know. Also the laughter. I said if we ever stop laughing, there is something incredibely wrong! Great post!

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  6. Right before I got married, someone told me, “No one will ever be able to encourage your husband in the way that you can.” I really loved that and have held on to it over the years. Sure, different people can encourage him, but there’s something about knowing your partner is cheering for you.

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  7. Jordan and I are terrible about date nights and always have been. We maybe go out once a month, and that’s being generous. I am such a huge fan of love languages and think there’s so much that can be applied there!

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    1. I’m glad you know about love languages, since it’s made a HUGE difference in my relationship with The Mister, that I am always suggesting it, if no one has ever heard of them.

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  8. I think it all tends to come down to speaking good words to each other, spending good time together, and valuing the other person highly. A move can definitely be a time of both joy and uncertainty–but at least you’re facing it together!

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  9. I love this! (Sorry I haven’t read or commented on it until today). I agree with every point you made. These are all so important yet can be difficult to do (like sharing feelings) or just get forgotten about (like dating each other) but it’s so important to be intentional about these things!

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    1. Glad you agree, Charlene! I’m hoping to keep these in mind and be more intentional and focus on more laughter, more date nights, more sharing. Hoping for an awesome 2017 with good intentions of focusing on my marriage.

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