You can check out the rest of the series by clicking here or go to the ‘A to Z Marriage Series’ page above.
Values are personal beliefs about what makes you a person of value and also what you see as valuable in others. Values are formed from your experiences through life. Your core values stay in place even when other aspects of your life change. Think of your values as your compass that directs you through life.
“Just start off with the same goals in mind. If you have the same values, same goals then you’ll be on track for the same future.” – Angelina Jolie
On paper The Mister and I are VERY different. He’s outgoing, I’m more reserved, he’s adventurous and spontaneous and I’m not. Our personalities may be different, but our core values are the same. We value companionship, family, authenticity and loyalty. It’s easy to get along because the ‘compass is always going in the same direction’.
Have you thought about your core values? Your spouses’ core values? You aren’t alone! It seems like if you ask people what their core values are, many wouldn’t be able to give an answer.
If you don’t know what your core values are or you’ve never compared values with your spouse, it’s as easy as 1-2-3(okay, okay, it’s actually 4 steps!) .
1. Write down what’s important to you in life.
This is by no means an extensive list but some ideas are: career, acceptance, family, money, health, intelligence, loyalty.
2. Now write down, “What does ‘core value word’ mean to me.”
An example of this may be, “What does family mean to me”. To which an answer may be abundance, joy, and influence. Answering this second question you uncover why your core value is important to you.
3. Compare your notes with your spouse.
Do you see any commonalities? Differences? If there are differences, take a look at this a bit closer. Are they really differences? For example, career and money could be pretty similar, or even influence and family. By taking a second look at what you deem as differences, may actually be very similar.
4. Create a Core Values Mission Statement with your similarities.
Now pick your top 3 or 4 core values and create a Core Values Mission Statement. An example of a Core Values Mission Statement is something like this: Always striving to keep our relationship first, our family second and ourselves last.
By thinking about your core values you’ll get a clearer picture about what you want personally and as a couple and it will help you navigate your way through your relationship and life. I encourage you to create your own Core Values Mission Statement.
So tell me, what are your core values? Are they the same or different than your spouse? Have you ever created a Core Values Mission Statement?