A to Z of a Happy Marriage


Values - Just Murrayed (1)

You can check out the rest of the series by clicking here or go to the ‘A to Z Marriage Series’ page above.

Values are personal beliefs about what makes you a person of value and also what you see as valuable in others. Values are formed from your experiences through life. Your core values stay in place even when other aspects of your life change. Think of your values as your compass that directs you through life.

“Just start off with the same goals in mind. If you have the same values, same goals then you’ll be on track for the same future.” – Angelina Jolie

On paper The Mister and I are VERY different. He’s outgoing, I’m more reserved, he’s adventurous and spontaneous and I’m not. Our personalities may be different, but our core values are the same. We value companionship, family, authenticity and loyalty. It’s easy to get along because the ‘compass is always going in the same direction’.

Have you thought about your core values? Your spouses’ core values? You aren’t alone! It seems like if you ask people what their core values are, many wouldn’t be able to give an answer.

If you don’t know what your core values are or you’ve never compared values with your spouse, it’s as easy as 1-2-3(okay, okay, it’s actually 4 steps!) .

1. Write down what’s important to you in life.
This is by no means an extensive list but some ideas are: career, acceptance, family, money, health, intelligence, loyalty.

2. Now write down, “What does ‘core value word’ mean to me.”
An example of this may be, “What does family mean to me”. To which an answer may be abundance, joy, and influence. Answering this second question you uncover why your core value is important to you.

3. Compare your notes with your spouse.
Do you see any commonalities? Differences? If there are differences, take a look at this a bit closer. Are they really differences? For example, career and money could be pretty similar, or even influence and family. By taking a second look at what you deem as differences, may actually be very similar.

4. Create a Core Values Mission Statement with your similarities.
Now pick your top 3 or 4 core values and create a Core Values Mission Statement. An example of a Core Values Mission Statement is something like this: Always striving to keep our relationship first, our family second and ourselves last.

By thinking about your core values you’ll get a clearer picture about what you want personally and as a couple and it will help you navigate your way through your relationship and life. I encourage you to create your own Core Values Mission Statement.

So tell me, what are your core values? Are they the same or different than your spouse? Have you ever created a Core Values Mission Statement?


4 thoughts on “Values

  1. I tend to think of values and priorities together. Or maybe I just prioritize my values? I have day-to-day or monthly priorities (get laundry done before I read, landscape the backyard before replacing the windows, etc.) but my/our core value & priorities focus on one another, loyalty to each other, and growth in K’s business. It’s definitely something that both of us should consciously be aware of- values tend to steer our choices and actions!


    1. Hmmm…I originally thought I didn’t think of values and priorities going together but I can definitely see where they could be connected. It’s great that you both recognize your values and priorities and that you use them to guide your actions. That is always a good thing!


  2. oh yes – i have been thinking A LOT about values lately and my husband and i were talking about what would be deal breakers for a relationship. especially with the political climate currently in the USA, if my partner’s core values didn’t sync up with mine – i don’t think it’s something i could get over particularly when it comes to women’s right!


    1. I think political views don’t have to sync 100% but everyone has different deal breakers in relationships when it comes to political views. If my husband didn’t believe in women’s rights, it would be a definite deal breaker for me too, Chelsea!


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