Drunk on love or wine, most people would say that their wedding day was one of the best. When they feel the most loved, most in tune with each other, reciting the vows to ‘love and cherish each other all the days of our life’ in front of your most cherished people but then people go on living their lives and without revisiting those cherished words. There is a way to keeping that same feeling of impermeable love continue but it does take constant vigilance.
My grandmother has a way with words, sometimes she says the funniest things and sometimes they are so profound that it stops you in your tracks because you never even thought about something in that way, and her advice comes from a lifetime of experience. Sometime before The Mister and I were married, we were talking about people who were my age and were divorced or in second marriages and she said something so profound that I wasn’t really sure how to respond other than to smile, but her words were, “When love is easy, remember why you love them. When love is hard, remember why you love them.” From that day forward, I have been reciting that quote in my head as I look at myself in the bathroom mirror in the morning.
Here are 5 ways to strengthen your vows if you find yourself floundering in your relationship:
Recite your vows regularly to yourself
Along the lines of the quote from my grandmother, reciting your vows are an easy way to keep your marriage first and everything else second.
Recite your vows regularly to each other
100% disclosure, The Mister and I haven’t done this but I can tell you I think it’s something I want to start, starting on our anniversary. Holding hands as we did on October 4, 2014 reciting our vows to no one but ourselves is about the easiest way I can think of to keep our marriage first.
Keep each other accountable for your vows in a constructive way
Regularly having date nights or scheduled time together to keep each other accountable is an easy way to keep your marriage fresh.
Use your vows as a compass for your relationship
When your spouse was sick, did you grumble and throw the Kleenex and Vicks vapor rub at them because they have another cold as you locked yourself in another room, or did you buy them an endless supply of Kleenex and offer to rub their vapor rub in? If you did the second thing, your relationship is probably going in the right direction, if you did the first you might need to step up to the plate next time your spouse is sick.
Make a connection with another married couple who ‘lives their vows’ and hang out with them
Regular date nights with just your spouse is awesome, but it’s also awesome to hang out with a strong couple. Most people know at least one couple who takes regular date nights, never speaks ill of each other and it seems like they put each other on a pedestal. Those are the people you should be hanging out with. It gives you something to strive for and also has a way of showing you that you’re relationship isn’t as bad as you may think it is.
Sit down with your partner and come up with ways you can strengthen your marriage. All relationships are going to be different in how they keep their vows fresh in their mind, so it’s up to you find the ways that work for your particular situation.
So tell me, how do you keep your relationship fresh? How do you strengthen your vows each day? Each year?