A to Z of a Happy Marriage

Understanding

understanding-just-murrayed

You can check out the rest of the series by clicking here or go to the ‘A to Z Marriage Series’ page above.

Understanding is essential, if any couple wants to have a healthy and thriving marriage.

When The Mister and I made the decision to move to Vancouver, it wasn’t always easy for me. I want to go, but there are SO many reasons to stay that my emotions are all over the place, thankfully The Mister has been very understanding in letting me vent or cry. He’s just sat there with me in silence or holding my hand MANY nights when I get overwhelmed.

When a relationship is new, it seems like you can talk for hours and hours. As a result, your relationship grows because of this communication.

Yet as couples get to know more and more about each other, the kind of communication in relationships also changes, and words slowly start to become redundant. This doesn’t mean that you have run out of things to talk about. No way! When you and your spouse start to use gestures and looks to communicate things to each other, it’s more of a deep-rooted level of understanding. This takes time to happen – it doesn’t occur during the first few months of a relationship.

Here are 7 ways in which couples engaged in a healthy long-term relationship deepen their understanding of each other and their relationship.

– Spontaneous eye contact
– Inside jokes
– Being able to talk about ANYTHING
– Sitting in comfortable silence
– Holding hands
– Caresses
– Small sacrifices

Couples in serious relationships get to know each other on a different level than even a best friend or family. As a result, they do not need words to talk to each other and show each other that they care. Gestures, actions, and even sitting in silence sometimes become far more superior than direct speech.

So tell me, how do you deepen your understanding of your spouse? When did you pass on to the non-verbal stage of understanding each other?

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6 thoughts on “Understanding

  1. I think that understanding is a crucial part of non-verbal communication. For the most part, my husband knows how I’m going to react to something before it even happens and he’s usually pretty good at understanding my emotions and behaviors. Similarly, sometimes I have to be understanding when he’s under stress. It’s just not worth complaining about the long grass when I know he’s super stressed at work and he’ll need some down time at home.

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    1. I’m glad you’re at that point, Louise! I think it’s a great part about being in a relationship! It’s great that you can tell when your husband is stressed from work and you can react accordingly instead of just complaining.

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  2. i absolutely get what you are feeling about being excited but also nervous about the big move. glad the mister can hold space for you to experience those emotions. my husband and i often joke about how intense of ‘intimate speak registry’ is because we totally have a language and understanding of our own! it took us probably 2 years to go there 🙂

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    1. 2 years, is so reasonable. I love the word ‘intimate speak registry’. It is amazing how just a glance is all it takes for The Mister to just know what I’m thinking.

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  3. I LOVE this post. It’s so true! Sometimes I’m baffled at the conversations that Pearson and I have with just our eyes and facial expressions. And sometimes I’m baffled at what we talk about. Things I would never talk about to anyone else and things I would have never talked to him about just a few short years ago. Marriage and relationships are cool like that.

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    1. Haha it’s so true, Charlene. Whenever I think, okay that’s the weirdest/ most intimate conversation I’m ever going to have and then of course life has a way of getting you to talk about even MORE intimate/weird conversations with The Mister.

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