A to Z of a Happy Marriage

Sharing

sharing-just-murrayed

You can check out the rest of the series by clicking here or go to the ‘A to Z Marriage Series’ page above.

Sharing creates intimacy. And intimacy is self-disclosure. You are intimate with someone to the degree that you reveal your hidden self, including what you think and feel as well as what you’ve done or experienced in your lifetime.

“Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.” – Brian Tracy

The Mister and I share EVERYTHING! Sometimes, I don’t want to know what colour is snot is, and other times I want to hear ALL about it because really sharing creates intimacy…even if it’s super gross. I’m sure there are times when he’s busy in the evenings but I share with him the conversations I had during the day at work because I know that sharing creates intimacy. You’re going to hear me say that a lot because it’s SO important.

Each little lie in a marriage puts a small crack in your intimacy. If you lie to your spouse you’re creating a barrier away from each other. Your intentions may have been good in lying but the consequences can be far-reaching. Emotional distance doesn’t create intimacy, it takes away from it.

The awesomeness that comes from sharing everything and creating intimacy is like none other. That doesn’t mean though you say mean and spiteful things all in the name of sharing and intimacy. Things like, “I don’t find you attractive at your weight.” or, “the way your hair looks is weird.” isn’t considerate or productive in a marriage.

What’s required is a balance between openness and gentleness. You create intimacy as you show your true self, but if you say it all you’ll hurt feelings. You grow loving as you treat each other more and more kindly, but if your marriage requires too many off-limit subjects then you sacrifice intimacy.

The decision to withhold information or share information is a delicate balancing act that only YOU know how to handle. It’ll be different for every single person and for ever single marriage.

So tell me, do you have trouble sharing things with your spouse or are you an over-sharer? What do you think is the best way of sharing for intimacy? Full-disclosure? Somewhere in the middle or keeping everything a secret?

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6 thoughts on “Sharing

  1. My husband and I are pretty good at sharing everything 🙂 Sometimes I overshare and he cringes, haha. I agree that knowing all the ins-and-outs of each others lives is really important in creating intimacy 🙂

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  2. this is so great and we are definitely of the oversharing variety here at my place (except about bowels – i find it utterly unattractive to either hear or share about this so this is the one area we stay far away from. apologies if TMI haaaaa).

    you are so right that this creates intimacy but also agreed that we have to find a balance that works for us. i think it’s also true that these levels may ebb and flow with changing circumstances – ie. baby on the way, things are getting even more personal literally up in here 🙂

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    1. I am so with you with the bowels although my husband is totally into sharing even though I tell him to keep it to himself…You’re so right about it ebbing and flowing with changing circumstances. I didn’t really think about pregnancy being one of those things you can share…probably because I’ve never experienced it.

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