A to Z of a Happy Marriage

Joint Decision-Making

I’m continuing the blog series, “A to Z of a Happy Marriage”. You can check out the rest of the series by clicking here or go to the ‘A to Z Marriage Series’ page.

When we are single, we are used to deciding where we will go and what we will buy without consulting anyone. When we get married, we need to consult with our spouse in regards to major issues. Major purchases such as buying a house and a car, as well as major decisions about where a family will live, ordinarily need to be made jointly by both spouses so it’s vital that your core values are the same.

It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are – Roy E. Disney

The reality of marriage is that two lives do become one.

The Mister and I always consult each other on purchases made, big or small because it affects us both. We have talked and talked and talked about what our core values are and luckily for us they are very similar so we spend or save our money based on our core values.

With this in mind it is important to remember that your life is now shared. Your individual decisions are no longer yours to make alone. Your salary for example stops being yours and together with your spouses’ to becoming ‘our money.

This new way of thinking calls for constant communication while respecting each other’s views, needs and desires. It calls for compromise and seeing all money earned as ours instead of just one persons. Making decisions together can be easy if your core values are similar but even if they aren’t joint decision-making helps one to respect their spouse and appreciate how they see things and ensures that their needs and desires are met.

Constant communication and joint decision-making helps in building the bond between the two of you even though it often causes you to compromise your personal plans for the good of the union.

The wisdom in navigating the sacrifices is remaining focused on the goal of marriage; to share your life with someone else. This sharing calls for sacrifices and at times losses but it’s ALWAYS worth it.

Consulting your spouse does not mean that they control you. It is appreciating that you now live in a union and joint decision-making contributes to its success.

So tell me, do you make ALL decisions together or do you make your own decisions about certain things? What are they? 

Next up, kissing! Don’t miss it on October 29th!


6 thoughts on “Joint Decision-Making

  1. Great description of what marriage should be. “The two shall become one flesh”. I particularly struggle with the financial merging aspect because I grew up with the mentality of whoever earns more decides what to spend it on. Every decision even on what things to buy are like you said important because it’s the considerate and loving thing to do even when there’s sacrifice to be made on your part. Great article. Thank you and I’ll be following this series.

    God bless your marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We tend to make all our decisions together. We are pretty much on the same page in terms of priorities, values and goals, so joint decision making is pretty natural. I have to admit, when my FI went and bought a $100 lunch cooler the other day without previously mentioning it me, I was kinda like, “what the heck?” just because that’s not something I would ever spend that much money on. But pretty minor thing, so I let it slide. I’m grateful that we usually consult each other naturally.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. oh this is SUCH a great topic and article, elyse! i am thankful my husband and i also have similar values so often our decisions are similar too (but of course not always). we spent a ton on travel this year and i am grateful that while we both love traveling, next year we want to spend our money different. communication is key!


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