I’m continuing the blog series, “A to Z of a Happy Marriage”. You can check out the rest of the series by clicking here or go to the ‘A to Z Marriage Series’ page on the top of the page.
Frustration and anger result when there is a wide gap between what we expect and what actually happens.
“Unrealistic expectations will kill your marriage. Unspoken expectations will kill it just as fast. – Alecia Starks
The Mister and I are always trying to keep our expectations in sync with one another as well as 100% clear. That’s the key. Neither one of us is mind readers, so we have to tell each other what our expectations are in plain language and sometimes that means compromising on our expectations. For example, he’s the chef, and I’m the cleaner for the most part. Our apartment is very small so The Mister expects me to have all the breakfast dishes done by the time he gets home so there is space for him to make dinner for us because I expect him to start dinner right once he gets home because I’m hungry after work.
So, how do you deal with expectations? The first step is KNOW everyone has expectations including yourself and your spouse. Second step is to figure out what YOUR expectations are. If you have a strong expectation for something in your marriage the third step is very important. Third step is SHARE and CLARIFY your expectations with your spouse. You may not need the fourth step, but the fourth step is COMPROMISE, you might have to lower or raise your expectations based on your spouses’ responses.
Now ask yourself, does my spouse know my expectations for them? Does my spouse have expectations of me and what are they? Once you’re on the same page you will realize how great your relationship can be.
Do you have unrealistic expectations for your spouse? What about unrealistic expectations for yourself?
Next up, forgiveness! Don’t miss it on August 20th!